The “FIVE” Love Languages
1. Words of Affirmation. Affirm your appreciation of your spouse in words. Let your spouse know that you appreciate them. Give praise, and give compliments. We often tell others how much we appreciate them, but never remember to tell our spouse. Remember – everyone loves praise!
2. Acts of Service. Put action to your words. There is an old saying: “Action speaks louder than words.” That is particularly true of Love for most people. If acts of service are your spouse’s primary Love Language, then nothing will speak more deeply to him or her emotionally than simple acts of service. Start expressing love by doing those things that are important to your spouse. Talk is cheap if no action is associated with it.
3. Receiving Gifts. Don’t forget that everyone likes receiving gifts. Regardless of the society you lived in, throughout all of human history, gift giving has been perceived as an expression of Love. If giving gifts, your spouse’s primary Love Language – then present him or her with the occasional gift. When people receive a gift, they feel loved most deeply. If your spouse really loves gifts, then you must give them “just because” gifts. A “just because” gift is a non-occasion gift.
4. Quality Time. If your spouse’s Love Language is Quality Time, giving him or her your undivided attention is one of the best ways to show love. Quality Time means setting aside a time to give your spouse your undivided attention. Sometimes, we as wives have a lot on our plate in one day; it can be hard trying to find time on a consistent basis. But we have to make time. Men, you might not like to shop – but if that is important to your wife, then speak her language… go shopping sometimes. Women, you might not like sports – but if that is important to your husband, then speak his language… sit down and watch a game sometimes. We need to give each other undivided attention; at least 15 minutes of our time, every single day.
5. Physical Touch. Communicate love more clearly by touching your spouse. If physical touch is your spouse’s primary Love Language, then take the initiative to reach out and touch your mate. A rub on the shoulder, holding hands in public, or rubbing your fingers through their hair shows that Physical Touch.
Since I am a marriage coach for women, I want to speak to all the married women and stress the importance of knowing your partner’s Love Language.
Let us start today by studying our spouse. Pay attention to the things you know are important to him. You will be amazed at the very small things that speak to his language. When we as wives began to focus on our husband, God will bless us and allow our husbands to focus more on our own Love Language.
We need to remind ourselves of the things we did before we married. When we were dating, pleasing our partner was the sugar, spice, and everything nice about the relationship; but after we get married, pleasing our mate is not the sugar and spice. It is the preservative – that which preserves romance and the relationship over the long haul. It is so easy to become content and complacent and begin to live like roommates.
The Bible talks about pleasing our neighbor. Who is our closest neighbor? Our spouse! Notice that Christ did not seek to please himself. He gave his life, so we might live.
Start today. Find your spouse’s Love Language; put them in action and watch your marriage thrive. Married ladies – remember, no matter how great your marriage is … there is always room for improvement.
I hope that these Five Love Languages will help you make your marriage a “Great Love Affair.”
As a Coach for “The Marriage Major” I want to help you take your marriage to the next level.
Janice L. Vance
The Marriage Major Coach
